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| Issue #59 - April 2009 |
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| COVERING 3 DECADES OF GAMING | |||||
Press Fire To Begin by Bryan Roppolo
This issue marks the beginning of some new things, the first being
the classic gaming comic section done by Tom Zjaba called "Laughing
Pixels". Tom will be doing a classic gaming comic every month to help
bring some laughter to those that read this magazine. Also, two new
people have come on board for this issue to write reviews about two
classic gaming events that took place since the last RTM was
published: The Atari Party and The Midwest Gaming Classic. I would like
to thank both Bill Kendrick and Erik Olson for taking the time to write
reviews about these two great events! Hopefully this is just the
beginning of more classic gaming show reviews, since I would think most
people find it interesting reading up on what is all going on in the
classic gaming universe. In the future I also plan on announcing
upcoming
shows so that the magazine not only wraps up events that already took
place, but also promotes ones that are upcoming. It's no fun to first
hear about an event after its already happened, especially if you might
have been able to attend yourself! I encourage anyone that is either
hosting an event or knows about one upcoming to e-mail me so I can put
up an announcement/description in a future issue.
Another important thing to mention is the opening of a TV channel on
YouTube called Retrogaming Times TV.
I started this YouTube channel as a way to host videos that people want
to submit to the magazine. Instead of just doing articles, I thought it
might be a nice addition to allow for the use of video's which can be
put in an issue here on this site as well as cross promoted on the
YouTube TV
channel. We'll see how
it goes. If anybody out there wants to do a video for RTM send me an
e-mail and I'll not only put it on the magazine, but also on Retrogaming Times TV. If enough
people contribute it will make a nice compilation of all the
classic reviews, commercials, documentaries, etc. that can be viewed at
one location instead of spread all over YouTube on various accounts.
In other news, this will be the final issue of Retrogaming Times Monthly that is posted at a "weird" date.
I say that because we have been trying to play catch up with the issues
after falling a little bit behind. Therefore, the next RTM will be
released on May 1, and then the first of the month in every month after
that. That should help make it easier for the readers to know when each
new issue is coming out. I personally can't wait to finally get back on
a regular schedule, since it makes it easier for me as well as the
readers and columnists. Maybe next year we can do an April Fool's issue
since it will be coming out on the 1st, where we cover all the April
Fool's pranks that were done in the past within the classic gaming
community. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest issue of RTM and some
of the new faces that have written columns here for the first time!
March 21-22 was the Midwest Gaming Classic in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. This is not a full report of the show, only some observations from my corner in the Computer Museum where I ran the TI-99/4A table.
Show Report: The Midwest Gaming Classic by Erik Olson
For three hours on a Saturday evening in March, Davis, California was having a video game flashback covering 3 decades.
Show Report: My First Atari Party by Bill Kendrick
RTM Idiocy: Reviews And The Idiots Who Respond To Them by Mark Sabbatini
I've always written game reviews with
a touch of fear, lest I be inflicted with the rampant stupidity
plaguing a disturbingly large ratio of people connected with them.
They're also my favorite section of
any computer magazine. I also regularly scan reputable critics of other
things such as restaurants, movies and hotels. It has little to do with
being an informed consumer. Rather, I confess to sadistic glee in the
thorough trashing of a product by a writer who knows what they're
talking about.
Some of this is my irritation about
seeing too much shilling, seen today as long "previews" of upcoming
titles that are nothing more than free multi-page glossy ads disguised
as "exclusive" or "feature" articles. Or the critic/publication giving
everything an "A" or "B" grade, reserving the so-called average "C" for
train wrecks that would get "Fs" in a non-grade-inflated world.
There's also the value of knowing what
products to avoid, which I find more useful than sorting through
puffery to determine what's worthy. But often it's not a bad review
that influences my opinion most – it's how the company whose product is
lambasted reacts.
Some companies do far more damage in
their response than any negative review can, usually by making absurd
excuses for flaws or personal attacks on the reviewer. Other times
their complaints have merit as the review includes errors and prose
that make a 12-year-old (me in the old days, in this case) roll their
eyes.
This is a topic that can (and may) be
the subject of many columns, but this month we'll just go through a
sample of the major culprits beginning with the pathos of the
responders.
The "it's not really a problem"
defense takes several forms, including the sometimes-defensible claim a
defect has been fixed. Even then a company can look ridiculous thanks
to the decision making that resulted in the flaw.
"I do note, however, that your tests
were carried out on a pre-production unit," wrote A G Fosberry of AGF
Hardware in a letter to Sinclair User in March 1985. "Whilst I
appreciate that your evaluation has to be based entirely on what you
are given, it concerns me that much time and effort can be spent
developing a product whose reputation can be instantly marred by
comments which might be best leveled at the originator first in order
to assess their validity."
Snark hardly seems necessary to make
the point, but why did he think sending a product to a magazine to be
reviewed would result in something other than a published review? Also,
he's among the army of disciples giving deity-like power to the
Almighty Reviewer, able to control the fortunes of their company with a
few column inches in a magazine (which does offer the comfort of being
able to blame someone for failure).
Denial is another common response,
perhaps best summarized by one programmer shouting in italics "our
programs don't contain bugs." The cumulative industry wisdom is all
programs have bugs; successful software has flaws that don't affect the
user. A frequent tactic of respondents is the "it's not a bug, it's a
feature" claim, although one author took it a bit far by claiming
errors were a deliberate feature.
"I find it much more convenient for a
program to abort with an error message than for it to return to editing
without an indication you made a mistake," wrote John Hattan of Cosmic
Software, explaining in February 1986 why his painting program for the
TRS-80 Color Computer lacked error trapping. ON ERROR statements, he
claimed, are "often a simple way to dodge hardware errors by having the
program ignore them...(and) some apparent fundamental problems can
allow for more user convenience than the first glance shows."
This might be a good time to look at
some of the sins of the publications since the Cosmic Paint review that
ran three months earlier in The Rainbow – panned as slow, buggy and
unfriendly – was headlined "Cosmic Paint Features Excellent
Documentation." The tendency of higher ups at many magazines to gloss
over negative comments was as obvious as the motives (fear of offending
advertisers, which was seldom a concern of reviews frequently working
on a freelance basis). For that reason I pretty much dismissed any
review by in-house staff. Consider this excerpt from a review of the
IBM PCjr in the March 1984 issue of Creative Computing.
"I like this machine very much," wrote
Thomas V. Hoffmann, who wrote the magazine's review of the original PC
two years earlier. "For the home, its graphics and sound features
provide a good base for high quality, enjoyable games and educational
software. Its compatibility with the PC1 and PCXT make it ideal for
occasional work-at-home use, sharing programs and data with the machine
at the office. The PCjr makes sense for the office...a great machine
for schools as well--at all levels."
Also, Hoffmann wrote, "the 62-key
wireless keyboard is perhaps the most innovative feature." Some lines
are too infamous for snark.
But as a journalist for 20-plus years,
I frequently say the biggest sin of reporters isn't bias or devotion to
corporate masters – it's ignorance. This is painfully obvious reading
game reviews, a significant percentage by people who apparently never
set foot in an arcade.
A few examples from The Rainbow:
"Crystal Castles" was praised as a unique game despite possessing the
same name of the arcade game it copied (without a license, although the
CoCo apparently was so obscure I never heard Atari raise any fuss).
Gantelet, another unauthorized port, was dubbed a "maze-type game" by
someone who apparently never progressed beyond Pac-Man. Robottack, an
unauthorized port of Robotron, was compared instead to Berserk.
The snafus were too numerous to be
ignored by readers. "You seem to stick a reviewer with a product and
expect him to sink or swim," wrote one person in response to a review
of an adventure game where the writer was so enamored by this newly
encountered genre that most of the copy focused on the concept of
adventuring rather than the game itself. Daniel Fass, 13, responding
without any apparent snark to the Robottack review, wrote "I think we
shouldn't blame Bob for these things because he is an adult and kids
generally understand things better."
Then again, readers could be a bit off themselves, finding meanings and conspiracies that could put Birthers to shame. Next month we'll delve into the murky coverups supposedly masterminded by people too stupid to recognize a clone of Q*bert.
Apple II Incider - Real Life Games Part Deux + Jeopardy by Donald Lee
| REAL LIFE GAMES PART DEUX In June of 2008, for the first time in my career, I had experienced a layoff. I had been working for a startup which had not done well and I was among a slew of other employees who were let go. Besides the layoff, I had gone through a fairly crazy night before my boss had told me I was laid off. I detailed this in an article in the July 2008 issue of RTM because I thought nothing could top this. I had been fortunate though. I landed a new job fairly quickly and started on August 25th of 2008. It was a mid-sized company that was doing well. With the economic downturn that was going on, I was happy to be employed and did my best at my new job. However, my best wasn't enough, as in a surprise move I was laid off last week along with a few other employees. As far as I understood, there was some restructuring occurring and my position (along with the others) had been eliminated to save money. The unfortunate part of the layoff? Well, it occurred on April 1st and it definitely was no April Fool's Joke. The other problem? April 1st was also my birthday. It was definitely an unwanted birthday present and I didn't have the best of birthdays. Alas, as I write this a week later, things have settled down. I took care of some final business with my old company today. My resume's been updated and I'm officially back on the job market. It's a tough time we are all living in. For anyone's who's still employed, enjoy it! For those like me take heart, there's things out there, we just have to be patient. JEOPARDY  Continuing the series on Sharedata games, let's take a look at Jeopardy this month. I originally was going to give Card Sharks a spin, but the emulator had trouble running it. However, since I covered Wheel of Fortune last month, I thought Jeopardy would be a great substitute. Maybe I was young, but for some reason my initial recollection of Jeopardy was that I didn't have a lot of fun. I decided to give the game a second chance and this time around I'd say that Sharedara did an adequate job converting Jeopardy to the Apple II. The game follows the format of the the Jeopardy series back from the 80's and the dollar values reflect this ($100 to $500 in the initial round, $200 to $1000 in Double Jeopardy). The game allows up to 3 human players. If you have less, the computer will substitute in and does an adequate job of it. The game controls are fairly straight forward. Each player is assigned a key on the keyboard as the buzzer. Once a player buzzes in, instead of making players type the "entire question", options such as "Who is/are" and "What is/are" are given and the player can select the appropriate question. Once a player selects the question, they can then type in the answer that they think is correct. The game did a pretty good job of letting players get away with minor typos when entering in the answer as well. The graphics, sound, and music for the game are fairly sparse. The game board is basic black and white, and the main sound effects are for players buzzing in and if they answer questions right or wrong. The best part of the graphics involve the contestants. The contestants react positively and negatively depending on if they answer the question correctly. The only music I heard was at the end of the game when I finished Final Jeopardy. Each player can select from a few different characters to portray. Don't expect much selection though. Remember, this was the 80's and we're operating off of a 143K Apple II game disk! All in all, while the graphics, sound and music are nothing to write home about, the game does it's job in bringing Jeopardy to home computers. Just like real Jeopardy, you'd better have some knowledge or you're not going to do well. I surprised myself and did fairly well, but did find myself stumped on some categories. See you next month! |
The Thrill Of Defeat:
Pleasure & Punishment On The Unexpanded Timex Sinclair 1000by Mark Sabbatini
Ahhh...spring
break. When normal youths headed for the ski slopes and beaches, and
pathetic
geeks like myself saturated themselves with video games in front of TV
screens.
More
than 25 years later, it seems little has changed. At the moment I'm
typing this
in-between reliving my ZX81 gaming days while the kids in my town are
tearing
up the roads on snowmobiles (I live 800 miles from the North Pole,
where
"scooters" are more prevalent and useful than cars). For some reason
the word "punishment" keeps coming to mind, which is why the virtual
version of it is scattered throughout this month's look at retrogaming
on the
world's worst computers.
It
occurs to me some kids might have been forced to use some of their
screen time
on every hacker's nightmare: math and other educational software.
Plenty of
youths got stuck with them after using the "it'll be educational"
line to con computers out of their parents, who could easily check
these
programs off on the order form (most of those mentioned here are
in-house). The
programs get a split grade based on how well they do at their intended
function
and their value to gamers – virtually nil in all cases unless it's to
speed up
homework, but RPG diehards might get something out of a few of them.
This
was to be the final installment of games on the 2K Timex Sinclair 1000,
the
ZX81's U.S. twin, but that was before I discovered a massive collection
of
homebrews at foreign sites (the improvement of Google Translate during
the past
year is literally opening all kinds of new worlds), as well as a few
titles
running in more than 2K but less than 16K of memory. The latter is an
odd
category since 16K memory packs were an inexpensive and standard
add-on, while
anything less probably was done by experimenting hardware geeks. But
many of
the homebrews are notably better than commercial offerings from the
early days,
so consider that a reward for enduring some of this month's punishment
(don't
fret – there's also some entertaining stuff).
Most
of the games can be played online using an emulator at
www.zx81stuff.org.uk/zx81/indexframes.html.
Free emulators and software are
also available at numerous sites (www.zx81.nl
is as good a starting point as
any). As always, the grades below are strictly limited to the category
at hand.
 Algebra 1
(B-/F) The four
programs on this tape do quadratic equations, simultaneous linear
equations, greatest common denominator and prime factors. I haven't
even known what most of those are since college so I'm not highly
qualified to judge the programs. There is one big problem common to all
of the math packages reviewed this month: due to limited memory there's
no error trapping. If the user enters something that can't be
calculated, the program crashes. |
 Bumper
7 (C+) A (surprise) seven-game collection that's not really any
higher in quality than a gazillon others, but there' s a few relatively
unique titles with modest entertainment value. Banco, for instance, is
an OK version of the purely luck casino game (draw up to four cards,
try to get closer than the computer to a total ending in nine),
although I'm not certain the computer follows the exact rules for
drawing additional cards. Repeat is a Simon-like game using
single-digit numbers, although it's a bit more challenging because it
only lists each new number and expects the player to remember the rest
of the sequence. The rest is less worthwhile. Ski Slalom is the usual
boring scrolling game, keeping track of how many of out of 25 gates you
ski through. Paper Stone Knife pits you against the computer's amazing
ability to pick a random number from one to three (hitting the computer
when you win lacks the satisfaction of doing the same to your
sibling/friend). Snowflake is Kaboom in super slo-mo, with one flake
dropping at a time at a rate 3-year-olds can keep up with. Patterns is
a non-interactive display and Sketch is an uninspired doodlepad. |
 The
Challenger 1 (C) Umm...not bad, but where's the rest of my games
package? The two "brain games" on this cassette by Timex aren't awful,
but it's paltry compared to other collections offering more and better
games for presumably the same price. Amazer is the only one offering
much long-term value, with the player responsible for guiding a letter
"O" from the top to the bottom of a simple maze (horizontal platforms
with a few scattered gaps in each). Two "robots" (asterisks) roam the
maze and the game ends if the player collides with either one. Their
movements seem largely random, but the player's skill is still the main
factor in success or failure. There's 10 speed levels and even the
slowest is a challenge. The second game is tic-tac-toe which, unless
you're more than 4 years old, is an immense waste of time since ties
are inevitable. The user interface is nice, but this is a game novices
should be programming, not playing. |
 Games
Pack 1 (B) This six-pack from Database Software is partially on
faith, since there's no instructions and the purpose of some of the
games is unclear. But all are written in machine language and are a
notable step above nearly every other multipack collection. There are
solid breakout and driving games, and a banner message board where you
select the "foreground" and "background" characters in addition to the
message. One of the better offerings is Air-Sea Rescue, where the
player controls a four-direction aircraft rescuing blocks one at a time
from the sea and returning them to a base (think a mini Choplifter)
while avoiding missiles. There are also variations of Space Invaders
and squash, but either the rules aren't completely clear or there are
some terrible bugs. Given the quality of the other four programs, I'll
assume these have a complexity that requires more than two seconds to
absorb. |
 Games
Pack 2 (C+) Another good Database six-pack, but not up the
quality of its first collection. Still, if I were lucky enough to be
familiar with all the compilation tapes out there, I'd might buy these
two and be done (I'd also spring for a few individual games of higher
quality). Jump Jockey is a graphically impressive (for the memory)
exercise in jumping a horse over gates, with the jockey thrown off in
amusing fashion if he misses. Stunt Cycle is a jumping game similar to
some early coin-ops, requiring some strategy to accelerate fast enough
to clear hurdles without crashing due to excess speed. After that
things drop off. Invaders is basically a faster version of the game on
the first collection, OXO is player-verses-computer tic-tac-toe and the
sketch program is every bit as unremarkable as those in other
companies' collections. |
 Games
Sampler (C-) This
mediocre four-game collection offers little not found in various forms
on other tapes, although it's mildly passable if it's going to be your
one-and-only such thing. Kamikaze Fly is a one-key game where the
player is a frog trying to catch flies moving across the screen by
lashing out with his tongue. Speed is tolerable for a BASIC program,
but the response is less so since there's often a lag that can throw
off your timing for subsequent attempts. It also gets very old very
fast. Sketchpad is the same doodle tool found on seemingly every
collection, although it's more limited because it only draws black and
gray boxes. In its favor, the default keys are more logical than the
default 5-8 keys and the user can define his/her own. Navajo Rugs is a
non-interactive kaleidoscope-type display, making it a nonentity in my
book. The final program is a biorhythm plotter, which is a tired
concept, but momentarily amusing the way horoscopes are. Not that I'd
have wasted minutes waiting for a cassette to load, but with the
instant access possible with emulators I'm more tolerant. |
 Geometry
1 (B-/D-) Another batch of math misery, although the first
program might have some use for RPG types. It calculates the area of
polygons, with the user supplying the number of sides and lengths.
Other
programs compute missing parts of a triangle, analyze vectors, and
convert radians to degrees and vice versa. If this sounds like fun,
read the instructions for more because I like to, you know, have fun
during my leisure time. |
 Junior
Education 5 (B/D) If you're going to get stuck with an
educational tape, this would probably be the pick assuming the age
level is right. There's some visually interesting programs mixed in
among more pedestrian fare, including a balance program where players
have to balance a see-saw using weights. Distance and weight both need
to be taken into account and there are three skill levels. Volumes
tests your ability to calculate the area of cubes, notably mostly
because it draws the cubes and the Xtreme Pixelation is mildly amusing.
Temperature displays two barrels of water and asks the player to
calculate the temperature if they were combined. Base is test of
conversion from base 10 numbers to other bases, which could actually be
an invaluable aid for aspiring programmers. The other programs include
a math drill and display of averages (mean and median). |
 Keyboard
Calculator (B+/D-) This is actually an impressive collection of
practical miniprograms by Timex, but as with the Geometry tape above
its value to gamers is basically zilch. There are three calculators
that basically function as eight-cell spreadsheets, with the ability to
use complex formulas in each. The first does straight calculations, the
other two are metric converters. The main drawback is there's no error
trapping – if the user enters something incalculable, such as dividing
by zero, the program crashes. The fourth program is a checkbook
balancer, one of the most ubiquitous and boring things in the known
universe, but it's one of the better types that simply keep a tally (it
doesn't keep track of individual checks, budget categories, etc. like
any 16K or better program does). The tape fends off a failing grade
since it's possible gamers might find some use for the calculator
–probably for programming purposes, but I've never ceased to wonder at
all the math various RPGs demand. |
 Money
Analyzer 1 & 2 (C-/F) Mentioned only because these are from
Timex and fit the requisite 2K. Unlike some of the practical programs
above, these are mundane versions of programs found in type-in books
and magazines everywhere. The first tape calculates savings
accumulation based on the amount and frequency of interest payments,
the second calculates loan payments according to the same variables.
The second tape does depreciation, present worth comparison and rate of
return. Ugh. Sadly, I suspect mom and dad bought enough of these for
companies to justify charging for such dreck, although as a bedroom
programmer I did have fleeting hopes that might be one way I could make
some dough with my BASIC-only vocabulary. |
 Mixed
Game Bag 2 (C) This trio of common puzzle games has a high
per-program cost compared to similar compilations, but the programs are
also a bit more polished than most. Memory Magic is a Simon-like
exercise using numbers and/or letters that flash at random locations on
the screen (most of the five levels are too fast to be practical).
Concentration uncovers two letters at a time on an eight-by-eight grid.
The instructions say it can be a two-player game or one against the
computer, which is really just the player typing in entries until all
the matches are found. In a typical shortcut of mini ZX81 games, the
letters are generated randomly and therefore there may be what the
program calls unmatched "wildcards" left over. Supermind is a variation
of Mastermind, with the computer displaying graphics characters (the
number is based on one of five difficulty levels), then erasing and
storing them in a random sequence. The player then tries to guess the
sequence. The graphics make it more visually appealing than most
similar efforts (and a bit trickier for the player to enter from the
keyboard) and the multiple skill levels extends the play value if
you're into this sort of thing. |
 Power
Pack 1 (B+/D) Oh no...another practical set of programs from
Timex. Only this one has some entertainment value, thanks largely to a
scrolling banner program that displays messages up to 100 letters at a
decent speeds thanks to some machine language coding. A few other game
packages have similar efforts in BASIC and they're universally awful.
There's also a 10-item calculator where you can enter numbers or
formulas in each, making it a mini single-column spreadsheet. There's
also a bar graph program and another that plots equations, which make
nice eye candy for a few minutes (for some reason I actually would boot
programs like this up as a youth and, yes, even threw a couple into
school reports). Parents probably didn't buy this instead of math
packages for their kids, but maybe they should have. |
 The
Starter (C+/D) If this was Timex's idea of a well-rounded
"starter package," the entire marketing department was in serious need
of a weekend getting plastered in Vegas. The trio of programs includes
a simple version of J.H. Conway's cell-evolving game of Life, with the
player allowed to control cell placement and generation cycles. Maths
is a quiz, with the player selecting one of the four basic functions
and three levels of difficulty. Averages displays bar charts of mean
and median from a user-supplied list in what the instructions call an
educational program explaining the difference. In short, the tape isn't
much good at providing practical or educational value. |
 |
|
In the last
2 issues of this column I have dug up old newsbytes about various big
time events in the classic gaming world. However, since this column is
not bound to only written articles from the past, I decided to change
it up a little bit and bring in a TV commercial. One of the things I
always wanted to know was how the original Odyssey was marketed back
when it came out in the early '70s. Luckily, with the help of YouTube I
finally was able to watch a commercial from 1973 that Magnavox aired to
promote their new game system. I thought it was really neat and wanted
to make sure it got air time here in Retrogaming
Times Monthly. This is probably the first TV commercial ever
made/aired for a video game system, so it's pretty high on the landmark
list when it comes to classic gaming! Sit back and enjoy this one,
since it's probably one of the most highly sought after TV ads in the
retrogaming community.
| |
|
|
"Laughing
Pixels" is a new section in the magazine done by Retrogaming Times founder Tom
Zjaba. In addition to being a classic video game buff, Tom is also a
comic book enthusiast. Be sure to stop by his Arcade After Dark site to see a
plethora of video game related comics which are not published in Retrogaming Times Monthly.
Game Over
As usual it's been fun putting together this latest issue of Retrogaming Times Monthly, and I've
still been busy adding more to the website. As you might have noticed,
the RTM archives are now open with a small number of back issues
available to view. I really hope to continue to upload the rest of the
back issues over the course of the next few months. It might take a
while to get everything up and running in that section, but bare with
me! I have no idea when I'll be able to get the article index started,
but that's also on my to-do list as well. Hopefully when I see you guys
next
time there will be even more progress on all this, but until then keep
that old Atari, Nintendo, Sony, or whatever classic game system you
have running warm!
- Bryan
Roppolo, Retrogaming Times Monthly Editor
©
2009 Retrogaming Times Monthly.
All Related Copyrights And Trademarks Are Acknowledged.
